A Word On Resolutions
There are only a few more hours left in 2017, and I’m not spending these exciting final hours making resolutions for the next year. That’s not to say that making resolutions is a bad thing, it’s just not my thing. For me, resolutions have always been presented as goals worth achieving with the expectation that one will come up short. It seems like setting myself up to fail before I start, and why would I do that?
However, after seeing my friends’ resolutions/goals/aspirations all over my social feeds, they all unintentionally shared some insights that definitely changed my perception of resolutions and perhaps can help someone who wants to do something different in 2018.
1. Resolutions and goals aren’t the same things.
Some of my friends see resolutions for what they really are: a decision to either do or not do something. For example, a few years ago a friend of mine stopped drinking soda for a year and actually stuck to it. Other friends see goals as little achievable milestones that contribute to the greater resolution for the year. Some don’t even use the word “resolution” because it implies a permanent stop or start and life is more fluid than that. I liked all three definitions, but you do you.
2. Your personality type doesn’t dictate if you’ll “succeed” with your resolution.
I know there’s a lot of articles circulating about “best practices” and “which personality types are more likely to succeed with certain resolutions”, but no, just no. My friends aren’t buying it – and neither am I. The whole point of setting a resolution/goal is to take control of some aspect of your life, so by identifying that aspect and wanting to change, you’re already winning no matter what your Meyers-Briggs says.
3. If you “mess up” your resolution, you didn’t fail.
This was huge and probably the most important point to me. Breaking or “messing up” a resolution could involve a number of things, but it doesn’t mean you failed. As the seasons change, sometimes a resolution/goal has to be adjusted because we are all complicated individuals with lives and circumstances that change. Whatever you resolve for the new year needs to have some fluidity and flexibility, and give yourself the mercy and kindness to adjust and adapt where necessary.
4. Dream Boards might be a better alternative to resolutions.
Some of my friends are all about dream boards because it allows them to put everything in one place: resolutions, goals, wildest dreams and that one-in-a-million attainable thing. This helps because it keeps them focused, but also reminds them that there’s a bigger picture with more to pursue than just staying fixated on one thing. As imagined, these friends are also visual people, so seeing the dream board makes it real for them in the same way that writing down or vocalizing a resolution/goal makes it real for others. Honestly, I really like this idea and may consider making one for myself.
5. Make sure the resolution/goal/etc is actually enhancing you.
Some things are out of our control, and there’s nothing we can do to change that. However, there are some resolutions/goals that can actually improve your personality and character. This year has been full of highs and lows, but what was most important to my friends was having some element of self-care in their resolutions that had nothing to do with other people and everything to do with improving themselves.
Although I’m not entirely sold on making a resolution for 2018, I do have an unfinished dream board that I’m inspired to revisit. If you’ve already made a resolution, good luck; but, if January 1st comes before you’ve made a resolution, just remember you don’t have to wait until the new year to start making changes and improving your life. Happy New Year!
