Throwback Thursday : My Path To Newhouse

This post is going to be a bit personal, but I think it has some lessons that everyone can learn from.

As many of you know, I got my undergrad degree in architecture. Unlike most people who get into architecture, I didn’t start building cities with Legos when I was 5, and I didn’t decide as a freshman in high school that I was going to be the next Frank Gehry. As a high school student, I honestly had very few plans for the future. I was a decent student who took 2 art classes a semester, wrote poetry, and was slowly moving out of my middle school goth phase. My parents had always told me college was mandatory, but even as a senior I had no idea what I wanted to do in college. At the age of 17, I had a legal curfew but was also expected to decide what path I would take to determine the rest of my life. No pressure. So I really sort of fell into architecture, which in many ways felt like falling into a bad marriage.

From the beginning I think I knew that it wasn’t right for me, but I was determined to make it work. I had made a commitment. And there were even points that were really, truly enjoyable. It was only when I received my first semester grades that the reality of the situation began to materialize: I was trapped in this union, for worse or for far worse. The realization was a cold pit in my stomach. I swallowed it down and returned the next semester, only slightly shaken. I had heard the rumors about architecture school, that the first semester is meant to weed out the weak. The next semester would be better, I told myself. It was, in many ways, decidedly worse. Despite the tears and exhaustion, I came back for another year, sure that I could keep it together.

After my sixth semester, the marriage became untenable. Any initial passion had gone. I imagined this how a fox must feel before it decides to gnaw its own foot off to escape a trap. But I had to keep it together, for the kids (i.e. me graduating). I managed to weather the storm for another year, surviving until the final act of my architecture education. Beginning my thesis was, in the context of this marriage, akin to having a new baby. Excitement was high, and I believed that this year-long, personal project would help me to patch up the last 8 semesters and finally make my relationship with architecture work. By the end of the first semester of my thesis year, I was at one of the lowest points I have been in my life. There was a constant heaviness in my chest, and when I finally managed to get to sleep at night many times I wished I wouldn’t wake up. It was also around this time that I was starting to apply to Newhouse. I will admit that I simply stopped filling in my application about halfway through; I didn’t see the point, I knew I would be rejected anyway. Several weeks after the deadline I finally pushed through the dark cloud enough to finish the application and send it in. No harm done, I figured, at least I tried. Now, a year later, I will be graduating from the Advertising program.

My point in sharing this story is to say that sometimes, taking a risk on something that seems entirely impossible can drastically change your life in the best way. This year has made me feel accomplished and appreciated, and has finally put me at peace with my academic career before I enter into the next chapter of my life. I also wanted to share this story to encourage people to live without regrets. Was my architecture education a 5 year rollercoaster? Absolutely, but it also brought me to the place I am now. I barely graduated from undergrad, and now I have better grades than I have in years. I have professors who are genuinely invested in my success, and who acknowledge when I produce good work. I can look in the mirror and be happy with the person I see. And I truly believe that going through architecture school and taking the risk to apply to Newhouse has helped me to reach that point. So, my advice to everyone is: try not to resent or regret your past, but rather see it as part of the path that has molded you into the person you are, and if you are truly unhappy with life, take a risk to change it. You don’t know where you might land if you never jump.